Some facts that you might like to know about a girl called fi

1. I once lived for several months in a tent on the Skeleton Coast of Namibia. In the mornings there would sometimes be footprints of brown hyenas around our camp. I came face to face with one on four occasions. I find that it always refreshes one's senses coming face to face with something that could bite your leg off in one go. Especially first thing in the morning.

2. A few years ago, I nearly drowned when I was learning to scuba dive in a lake near Peterborough. I have been afraid of water ever since. I am currently facing up to my fears and learning how to swim again. I haven't quite gotten the courage yet to go anywhere near Peterborough though.

3. I played openside flanker for UEA women's rugby team. I like running into people at speed. I find it calms me. At this time I also discovered that I actually like getting bruises.

4. I once trapped myself inside a (humane) cage trap that I was setting for a fox conservation project. I was left inside with my nose squished uncomfortably close to the fish guts and dead chicks, that I had been putting inside as bait, for quite some time before a farmer came and rescued me. Later that day, I was chased by a herd of fresian cows as I carried a grey squirrel in a box. To this day I could never work out if it was me they were after, or the squirrel.

5. When I was a small child it was my dream to be the first female fighter pilot in the RAF, when I grew up. I abandoned this dream shortly afterwards when: i.) I discovered the moral high ground of pacifism; ii.) I discovered there already were female fighter pilots and so I wouldn't be the first anyway; iii.) I discovered David Attenborough and decided I wanted to be him instead.

6. I once reversed my car into my friend Ben's house by accident. Well, its not the sort of thing you'd do on purpose is it? Not to a friend anyway.

7. For years I believed that my dad had been attacked by a shark when he worked out at a marine fishery in Zanzibar, as he had a cresent shaped scar on his back to prove it. My entire world crumbled when I later learned that it was infact a scar from a birthmark removal. It was about this time that I also learned the truth about haggis not actually being a real animal. One great step perhaps for my budding career as a zoologist, but a giant leap back in a daughter's faith for her father's tall tales.

8. I get drunk way too easily and yet I am still under the delusion that I can hold my drink.

9. My Grandad had a false leg which he used to leave lying around the house and sometimes would forget where he'd left it. One day, when I was very small, I was angry with him and so I kicked him on the shin. He let me believe for hours afterwards that it was his real one that I'd kicked, and that I'd really hurt him, when all the while it was his fake one. The guilt that I could do such a thing has always remained with me, and since that day I have always made sure to control my anger around one-legged, prosthetically endowed, elderly gentlemen.

10. The first and only lucky draw competition I have ever won was a raffle in which I won an Mel and Kim LP. I consider myself very lucky in every other aspect of my life, just not prize draws.

11. I once sky-dived over the Namib desert. I can whole-heartedly recommend it as a hangover cure.

12. For my PhD I am studying pine martens - a nocturnal, forest dwelling mammal - despite the fact that I am afraid of the dark and I get scared in woods.

13. I vicariously collect snowdome shakers from wherever I go by buying them for my girlfriend. I hope that one day she will start buying them for me too, so that I won't have to keep stealing my gifts back from her. I could just buy them for myself, but that would involve admitting that I had a habit.

14. I am a libertarian. I believe that every individual has a right to civil liberties and to be free from the controlling upper echelons of power. If I had to pigeon-hole my political outlook, I would say that I tend towards Socialism. I abhor Capitalism. I am happy with myself, and my life. I do not need wealth or status to make up for aspects of my life that are lacking - because they are not. I have an independent mind, and my eyes are open.

15. ..Although saying that, I once stepped on a wasp nest and was covered from head to toe with biting and stinging wasps because I wasn't looking where I was going. Everyone I was with ran away from me, except for my dad, who came back to save me despite being allergic to wasp stings himself. Today, I could never bring myself to kill a wasp, they are far too cool for that, infact if there is one indoors I carry them out in my bare hands. This is probably a good example of my lack of common sense, especially considering that I frequently forget to carry my Epi-pen around with me. I also once ran at full speed in to a lamp post and gave myself concussion. No, not on purpose, it jumped out at me and took me by surprise. Damn sneaky lamp posts...

16. I have lived and worked on three continents. Only four to go and then I've got the set.

17. I hate being rushed in the morning, although I do like to get up very early, probably to avoid being rushed.

18. The song of a robin Erithacus rubecula is one of my favourite sounds. For some reason I find its doleful, melancholic wistfulness strangely uplifting.

19. I have Wandering Accent Syndrome. I never did pick up the Carlisle twang despite being born and bred there. It appears my vocal chords are now overcompensating by trying to pick up the local lingo whenever I pause in one location for longer than about 13 minutes.

20. I can't cope being inside a city for any length of time. They are just wrong.

21. I was, and still am, a bit of a geek. I mean, I was in the chess team at school - and yet I have never been the victim of bullying. I think this is the result of an incident whilst at pre-school; I was yanked off the tri-cycle I was merriily riding around on by Matthew, The (pre-)School Bully, despite the fact it was my third birthday. Seeing this as the unjust act which it was, I wasn't going to take this lying down. What followed is all a bit of a blur now, but suffice to say that I got the tri-cycle back, no-one every bullied me since, and that wasn't the first time I made Matthew cry during the 15 years at school together that followed.

22. I am an optimist, and a pragmatist. The glass is always half full. But you know, if you had a Camel-back (or some other water pouch) you can carry a full 2 litres on your back, and still have your hands free to do... erm, stuff!

23. I never get time to read a daily newspaper, but when I do its The Independent or The Observer. Instead, I make sure to catch up with the weeks news and politics by reading The New Statesman. I feel this gives me enough ammunition to be a happily opinionated, pseudo-intellectual.

24. Old people worry me. I don't mean that I get harrassed by gangs of old biddies hanging around on street corners intent on Fi Worrying, more I can't cope with seeing them being ignored, neglected and abused. So I worry about them.

25. For my masters thesis project I spent three months in Banff, Canada, all expenses paid. They even gave me my very own pick-up truck with orange flashing lights on top. And people wonder why I'd want to stay a student in perpetuity.

26. My idea of dressing up "smart" generally involves putting on a clean t-shirt. I wear jeans to interviews - hows that for self confidence?

27. At primary school my teacher, Mrs Haugh, told my parents that I "lacked competitive spirit". The truth was, and still is, very much the opposite. Only last month I won a competition as the quickest female student to row 1000m at my university. I was told I would win a prize, but I have not yet received one. No matter, the glory alone is more than enough reward. And having a gold star next to my name.

28. I got into a mudslinging match (in the literal sense) with an 8 year old girl while I was teaching. I won.

29. I was a finalist in Greenall's National Cocktail Bartender of the Year 1999 competition for my Tom Cruise-esque bottle throwing abilities. I only entered for a dare.

30. I broke my wrist whilst playing basketball at school. On my way to the operating theatre to have it manipulated back into place, my dad grabbed me by the arm to reassure me that everything would be ok. It was. Once I'd gotten over the excruciating pain of my dad grabbing my injured arm.

31. I never really conversed with my mum until my 19th birthday when she came to visit me at university. Before she arrived, I was terrified at the prospect of us shopping, going for coffee, "doing lunch", and *gasp* chatting, you know, the typical mother-daughter stuff. But I found to my complete surprise that not only did I really enjoy these strange new experiences, but that day had to be one of the best of my life, as it opened up floodgates of previously unknown communication. Since then I have considered my mum to be a friend - as well as frustratingly indecisive parental figure - although I have to say, I still really do hate shopping, and no amount of mother-daughter bonding is gonna change that.

32. I once looked up gullible in the dictionary to prove that it was indeed there.